There are some toddler days that are all happy and giggly. There are other toddler days that are, well, the opposite. This was one of those days.
It started off at midnight with Drew, my nephew, screeching for no reason. That went on for about two hours with a small pause in the middle. Then Clara woke up. She nursed back to sleep for two hours, then woke up again, screaming and demanded to nurse again. There was no more milk, which she could not understand, so she proceeded to scream for twenty minutes more until she got some Tylenol. So, the entire house was up from midnight to four.
Then, at 6:30 Clara woke Auntie Kristen up counting, “One, two, four” over and over and over. Mommy and Daddy were so tired that they slept right through until Auntie couldn’t take it any more and went in, got her up, changed a gigantic poopy, and brought her out and plopped her on the bed. Then she had breakfast and demanded to watch Super Why, which she watched while demanding to watch Elmo.
Then Drew got up, also with a huge poopy (#1), and we all ate breakfast together. Drew demanded to do play dough. Then we decided it was art time and we started to paint. Clara didn’t want any of this until she realized that Drew was having fun and she couldn’t wait to ruin it. It was Drew’s first time painting and he thoroughly enjoyed it.
Then there was getting dressed and brushing teeth, better known as “Clara has the world’s biggest tantrum.” Nothing would calm her down. We finally walked her and Drew across the street while Uncle pooped, and then started swinging. She was a bit like a three month old… fine as long as she was in the swing. Then it was meltdown time. But we were bored, so we went to a different park.
After swinging, both kids ran to the women’s bathroom and ran in and out of it for about thirty minutes. Luckily, we were able to just sit outside in the grass and watch them without toilet water incident.
Then we were finally off to lunch at….wait for it… Costco. We first browsed the liquor aisle…because we’re in crazy California where they sell booze in bulk. Clara especially enjoyed shaking the gigantic bottles of Jack Daniels. We sampled a bit (all butter pound cake), and then got in line at the food court. Hot dogs and pizza all around. Everyone was happy.
Then there was glorious, glorious nap time, in which I laid on the couch and pretended that I was going to go to sleep. Then I finally showered at 1:30 in the afternoon. Meanwhile, Auntie ran around the house like she really needed to be doing something… this is up for debate. She did get a bunch of stuff ready for the next leg of our marathon day.
Naptime ended with Drew’s poppy #3, (poopy #2 was right before naptime), and Clara woke up and refused to get out of the crib. We finally got her out and threw everyone in the car. We were going to be late for the Jui-Jitsu tournament. I sat in the back of the car and tried to spoon yogurt (two different flavors) into the mouths of both babies, at the same time, while Kristen drove as fast a possible around the curviest on ramps that have ever been created. Needless to say, I got car sick.
We arrived at the tournament with five minutes to spare, and parked 300 miles away. We ran carrying toddlers and all of their stuff, all the while, talking on the cell phone, to get directions to the gym. When we got there, it turned out that we had at least 30 minutes to spare. The gym was hot, crowded, and loud. The babies hated it. Not only that, but Drew couldn’t figure out what the heck was going on in there (he kept looking at the stands during the fights), Clara was extremely concerned about everyone involved in the fighting, and niether of them understood why we were there. We watched cousin Clay win second place in his bracket (go Clay)! Then, outside we went.
Outside, we ran, threw and “caught” balls, blew bubbles, had snacks, picked up random trash, including ABC gum, and said, “Hi,” to about fifty pigeons. This went on for about an hour until we moved back inside where Clara proceeded to place stickers in my crotch and then laugh hysterically with cousin Clay as she got them out.
Back outside, to the grass we went, where, a wedding party was taking pictures. The kids flirted with all of the bridesmades, dressed all in pretty, flowing pink dresses. They may have ended up in some pictures. Then there were the roses. Clara really wanted to smell and pick them. Which I thought would be fine. She didn’t get poked, luckily. But, she did end up with about two inches of mud caked to her shoes. As I tried to scrap the mud off, Auntie turned out to be on the phone, and Clara immediately ran, in only her tights, back into the mud. Humm… no shoes or tights now.
We dragged to kids to the car, and went to dinner with the Allens. That was fun for the first five seconds while they colored. Then, they both simultaneously wanted out of their high chairs. Dinner was a scream-fest, and the food took an hour to get there–literally. We scarffed it down as fast as we could, and tried to be polite as everyone else enjoyed their dinner. Meanwhile, the kids chased each other around and around the restaurant, stopping to give eachother bear hugs when they caught each other. This may have been the cutest moment of the day. It was now seven o’clock, bedtime. But we were still at the restaurant and had a half hour drive home.
The drive home started with Drew sceaming joyfully at the top of his lungs over and over and over. Auntie got quite fed up with this and told him, “No! NO!” As soon as she turned back around to drive, he would scream again. He thought it was hilarious. She didn’t. Meanwhile, Clara was screaming in annoyance at having to sit in the car seat. I poked a binkie in her mouth and all was well for a little bit. Drew learned how to say Clara’s name. It was adorable and I tried to take a video of it, but he refused and this is the video we did get.
Clara then threw her binkie and teddy on the car floor… three times… and when I refused to pick them up, she screamed the rest of the way home. This is how the day ended. They are both in bed now. We hope they are so exhausted that we won’t hear a peep until at least 7:00… or 4:30.